If you’ve been reading the match reports of our football matches, you’ve probably got used to the structure: lengthly preamble about being optimistic on the way to the match, me giving a pre-match team-talk which amounts to ‘kick the ball in the net’, and the opposition then scoring more goals than us.
I’m delighted to say this week the structure can change, as the opposition didn’t score more goals than us (no, really) so we can tell you all about our greatest footballing achievement of 2012.
Our opponents, Lewis PR, brought a load of
gorgeous girls co-workers along to cheer them on and in the opening exchanges this intimidated us. As the two shouted at the same time that I had nice legs, I stumbled and gave the ball away (girls, if you are reading, I should point out that we’re hiring).
As the game progressed, we were faced with a familiar problem – great passing, but little end product. As our goalkeeper Dan bemoans every week, “just shoot more”. Once again, this proved our undoing as Lewis took the lead.
But for once, we would not be cowed. Like brave warriors on a battlefield, we stood tall, and fought back. Matt was first to every ball, George was an absolute champion in defence, and Ed and Joe provided some much needed cunning and flair in attack.
After much pressure, the equaliser came: Ed went round the opposition defence with some quick feet before firing a shot into the bottom corner. The opposition cheerleaders were silenced.
In the second half we dominated again but couldn’t make our advantage count, as Lewis scored a goal on the counter-attack. We hit back through the brilliant Joe Weston, but couldn’t find a winner. So there’ll be no promotion for the football team this season – I’ll have to try harder to get one at work.